Havent written for a while..a few reasons for that....
not sure will continue writing this blog tbh. I am finding alot of online stuff right now hard to stomach again for various reasons.
Next month I stand down as Chair and Trustee of my charity again for a few reasons. One minute its a good idea, the next its a big hurt in my tum. Letting go has been really hard for me even if if it is probably the best thing I can do right now.
Many many friends in need right now too...too many that just are hurting so much and life is throwing alot of crap at them (in some, almost literally!). I love them all so much and feel I can't do enough. My family are all sitting on the edge of my nephews recent cancer diagnosis with my sister and her family just about holding their heads above the emotional water line. Months of treatment to go. I hope that their close unit will keep them going.
My mini meltdowns seem to come and go. Every few months I seem to have a major panic attack and that sets me back. leading to weeks of depression. Before Easter was the worst. My ability to control the sudden doom and overwhelming feeling seems to be getting harder. It is so hard to explain how it feels. Although I have just started a Journey which I hope will help me be able to deal with negative situations and people in a way I can cope with. Sometimes just admitting it isn't ok is the first step. I have a friend who is constantly on the end of the line talking me through some bad stuff, her ears must hurt alot. Anyway I hope my Journey will allow me to find more positives out of my life and not take everything emotionally on board all the time. We will see.
So on the good side...wedding plans are going well. Mine and older bridesmaid dresses sorted. Invites on order...meeting with florist tomorrow and hopefully a photographer too (our first is unable to do it now). Nursing course is almost over..3 months of placement and then I am done. Job lined up already :) to start Sept. Beth is reasonably well. Waiting to hear if she will go to Treloar College this september.
Gosh a boring post! sorry...just thought i would say hi.
Day 109
5 years ago
Posts
4 comments:
Not boring at all!
You know, if you're unsure about whether or not to keep posting here, but you find that riting the stuff down helps, have you considered making the blog private? You can either just invite a select few to read it or else keep it totally private and just have it as your own personal online journal.
I know that writing things down helps me to work things out in my own mind - but I also know that what I write on the blog is constrained by who I think might be reading it.
Keep walking the path - it's hard going but you are strong.
Love
Tia
oh Tia, you diamond..thats what I will do..thank you
Def not boring at all - and Tia's idea is a really good one - in fact, it's an idea I think I will follow myself (having deleted all my other attempts at blogging!).
Hang in there, hun...you're doing just fab xxx
Im glad you have decided to continue to blog for me its a great way to relieve myself if that makes sense or just sounds so wrong. You have so much going on in your life i think it is amazing you are managing to keep your head above the water, just know im here if you need a chat xxx
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