Mind over Matter

Okay so Skiing isn't my thing. I tried desperately hard to overcome my fear but as soon as I got a little higher or it got a little steeper, I couldn't cling hard enough to the nearest person. Most of the week I seemed to be in tears. A twisted knee also put paid to multiple attempts at bravery. The final straw was taking M out and then both of us taking a beginner out whilst hurtling down the slope. She was shaken, I ended up with a six inch bruise on my elbow and a few frustrated expletives. and that was that.

Will I try again? I would hope so. I just don't know right now. Sometimes I think inflicting more grief and stress on an already full life is just plain silly. Do I want to keep up with the Jones? No but I did want to do something that I know M wanted me to do so much. But I also promised myself I would not get miserable. And I was.

The rest of the time was mostly lovely. The snow, the night-time lights, the horses and sleighs, even studying in a quiet moment in the catered chalet we were staying. An emergency situation where my basic student nursing skills were put to the test also helped my sometimes low feelings of self-worth. (the wine given to me in thanks helped too! )

What I did learn though is something that hurt more than my knee and my elbow. That one of the most precious people in my life needs me more than I have been giving. To you I promise to give more because I love you.