When she gets off that bus

When B gets off the bus that brings her back from school on a friday evening, I wait with bated breath to see the state of her. A big B smile is a good sign, meaning she is feeling well, she is happy and glad to be home. Others can be variations of paleness, big bags under eyes, and a slumped body. I know within seconds of seeing her whether she has had a good week or whether her body is just plain exhausted. She isn't able to explain to me like you or I could how things are, how things have been and when she hasn't been great.

Last night, she drove towards the ramp on the bus and all I could see was a deathly pale face, slumped shoulders and a smile that was an effort to do. Inside we chat for a few minutes before she disappears to her room and puts on her music and computer. In her home communication book, B has been very tired in the mornings this week, B had her first horse riding lesson but had to finish early because she was so tired and got upset, B says she forgot to go to Physio to do some mey walking....I think B has had enough this week personally.

Then today, she wakes up with one of her headaches. After a few minutes she says its better, then half an hour later, its come back with a vengeance and requires migraine medication.
Her knees are weak, she cannot weight bear. An hour later, her headache is worse, the tablets aren't touching it. I have serious doubts about whether they are migraines or not but am going with the flow at present. Give her two ibuprofen and hope they work. What else can I do?

Her headaches continue to worry me. Her condition continues to distress me and I have to keep a light and cheery voice and treat her symptoms. Inside I just want to scream with the injustice for her and worry of it all.

My wish is that one day, she comes off that bus and says to me " Mum, I feel great today." She won't because she can't put her sentances together that way and express those emotions. She won't because I think we have got past the time when she felt great. I think on a good day she is just managing, on a bad day she just wants to lie down and sleep. And sometimes I want to join her.