The desperation of families of children with special needs

Why is it that parents/carers of children with special needs (and adults) have to get to desperation point before the services help? Our situation: Beth was still on her feet and it was hard work. She was battling with keeping upright and fine motor skills as well as the emotional difficulties we had to deal with. After going through some of the motions, our social services department decided we didn't demonstrate the need. Eh? I was rock bottom emotionally and physically. I couldn't go on. Asking for help is the hardest thing for a parent to do. It is not made lightly. To do it then to be told hey you are ok, is bull.

So why years on does it still seem to be the same? Every day I know people who are desperate for help, for respite, some time to relax. They love their children but they do not know how to cope. I can understand the mum who jumped off the bridge with her autistic son. She did not know what else to do. She was DESPERATE. I do not condone her actions but I can associate with it. Postcode lottery is the fact of our country. Why should it be? Everyone should have a right to help if they need it? And of course my biggest bug bear is those who have children with autistic spectrum disorders or behavioural issues. Why the services make it much harder for them to get help I do not know. It must be HARD! A child who smears their own faeces, a child who will not socially interact, a child who ignores you, others or screams/shouts for so many hours a day.. Why does that not warrant help? Beats me!!!

Most of us who have children with special needs do not ask for it. We love our children more than we can say, for like any child, they bring so much to our lives but we can't always cope with the increased demands. I just wish that it was recognised HOW difficult it is and people are given help before they get to the stage where they feel they cannot recover easily.

It is hard to ask for help. Professionals should remember that. And when it comes, it is hard to let your child go even though inside you know it is the right thing to do for all of you. Understanding of all of this needs to be paramount. I wish it was.